Conference Calls are Useless!

I know I just wrote a post about not writing everyday, but this could not be put off..so here goes.

I am a card carrying, dues paying member of a professional group. In addition I participate as a committee member for an offshoot of said group called a professional interest section. Our executive board members are scattered all over the country, from Georgia to Wisconsin to Colorado to California and everywhere in between. Therefore, our monthly meetings are not accessible necessarily by a hop, skip and a jump to some sort of middle ground.

The answer to our location woes has been what many national corporations and organizations have long prescribed too, the conference call.

You know what I mean, three or more people scattered around the country all hovering over a speakerphone getting scratchy reception at best, and praying that you won’t be called on to contribute anything of real substance lest you make some sort of unforgivable gaffe that will be overheard by those with the real powers that be.

I take part in these fiascoes at least once a month. Do we accomplish anything? No.

Maybe it is unreasonable to expect a personal face to face meeting when you are scattered across hundreds or even thousands of miles. But it is my experience that there is absolutely nothing that can’t be accomplished with a conference call that couldn't’be done with a series of emails. But let’s face it……the conference call isn’t going anywhere so…..let’s focus on at least making them more productive.

Be prepared! The scouts have it right; nothing will do more for your credible contribution than some good old fashioned brainstorming. If you are lucky enough to receive some type of agenda in advance, READ IT! That way you are not caught off guard and grasping at straws when your name is ultimately called upon for input.

Speak clearly. There is nothing worse than a handful of people all saying their version of “what?” in unison. This can be really bad when nobody has the courage to call out the garbled information, leaving the entire group to guess about the speaker’s intended message. Who suffers? Everybody, the company, the client, and ultimately your bottom line (meaning you!) unless of course you are independently wealthy and just don’t care. In that case, mumble away!

Stay in ONE location. I can’t tell you how annoying it is when a key member of the call is “commuting” between locations. I know we are all busy, but hey, you make the time for the call right? Then have enough respect for your fellow group members to sit still for the entire call rather than have the rest of us suffer through your signal dropping in and out (requiring us all to repeat ourselves a half-dozen times) or the sounds of car doors and the local traffic. At the very least, utilize the MUTE button if you can’t stay put.

Lastly, stay focused. Take notes and follow up immediately if there is something you don’t understand, or if you want to contribute something you were too dumbstruck to say during the call. Understandable if there is just so much background static that you are afraid of coming across like a chipmunk on steroids. (not the best reference but I love using that saying ever since I heard it, where else...on a conference call!)

Maybe, just maybe, my fellow board members will read this and take a few notes themselves, becoming more productive in the process. If not, well there is always next month. I can keep my fingers crossed certainly that things will improve. Worst case scenario? I muscle through my term as a lowly committee member and run for committee chair next year, maybe then we will finally get something accomplished via (what else?)a conference call.

Does anybody else think that certain tried and true business practices are useless and a waste of time? If so please share them. I love a good rant!